The Awesome Things: August 2013

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

This song.



This Song. It triggers that memory when I used to play it all over and over again everyday for a week just so that I could be familiar with the accent and the pronunciation of the french language. I was preparing you see for an interview for a scholarship around this time of the year last year and I felt that I just needed to sing this song. I finally mustered enough courage for the interview and still had second thoughts on singing this song but I still sang it anyway. I was shameless and desperate to go to France. That's probably what drives me to do my best and I got it! I got the scholarship and I felt victorious and glorious! I'll never forget that gift from the MAN above. IT was the best gift ever!!

A Day in the Life

Remind me next time not to go out on a holiday. Especially at 8am in the morning.

Did you know what just happened today? You've guessed it right.

I went out on a holiday and at 8 in the morning and I was not able to finish what needs to be processed

My plans were ruined. It’s a terrible nightmare. I don’t ever want this to happen again. The NBI office was closed, the doctor was not on duty and I actually planned on finishing my medical certificate and NBI clearance for today.

But it was not to be. So I went home and went back to sleep. It’s my free day today. Time to go to plan B and do nothing at all. So I woke up at noon with the coolness of the air-condition seeping through my skin and the room was dark and cosy. Just the way I like it.

I decided that since it was my day off from working part-time as a waitress in a restaurant, I’m going to make the most out of my free day because I’ll go back to my routinely job tomorrow. Nothing wrong with being a waitress though, I need this for my practicum anyway and it’s quite fun since you get to meet and see different people and It’s a very humbling experience which teaches the value of work.

So there I was, wanting to watch a movie, “The Perks of being a Wallflower”. I can relate much to it because I was a wallflower too back when I was in high school. I know the feeling of watching other people’s lives pass you by. Being invisible as though you did not exist at all. I know the feeling of not getting asked out on dances. It’s sad and upsetting. Then I just realized that like in the movie, you can’t really choose where you come from but you can choose from there where you want to be. Sooner, the life you have now will be nothing more but old memories and we’ll be someone else’s mom and dad but as for now. Life must go on and I need to cherish more the relationships that I have with my family, friends and my God. The ones who truly matter. I want my life to revolve around these: 

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Definitely not around these:
I know I have not been close with my family. It has always been like that anyway but I want change. I dream of going home after a long time of being away from them and just get enveloped with their hugs and kisses. I get envious when I see people do that even in movies. Why can’t it be like that for me?


It’s kind of opposite on how things go for me. I’m actually closer with my friends with my family. There are a lot of things about me that I’ve told to my friends and not to my family. Deep inside it’s just not right. It’s not how it should be. I just want change. That’s all. I want life to come to me. I want to be infinite.

Now I find myself alone again, and it’s usually on these times that unguarded thoughts come pouring down my head. It’s the time when I can think and dig deeper within. Remembering sad memories, Oh brother, cry me a river! It’s the time when I ask questions on why do I even bother longing for some someone getting hyped up with that Hollywood cliché of finding love and affection from the opposite sex, we all know where that will end anyway. In the gutter!  Looking at the experiences of other people, it’s either someone gets hurt, broken, used, shattered, thrown, cheated upon, verbally and physically abused. I don’t want to end up like them, so messed up and damaged, I’ve been there before and I don’t want to go back there ever again. I don’t want to commit the sins they did, I don’t want to commit the mistakes my ancestors committed. I’ve got enough sins of my own and I don’t want to add up on that.

Let me tell you honestly, this country is where it crumbles because the good men are gone. The men of character are dead. They’re long gone. We’re now surrounded with cheating men, men of abusive powers, leaders of the land who are of no good. Unrighteous men, unfaithful beasts full of their wicked plans and thoughts. We may have a new president now but he’s no better than the last. Back in my workplace, I’m surrounded by men of no character, cheating men, unfaithful husbands, shameless and disgusting. Poor ladies who get tricked by these men. After they bore them their child, some of these men left and took no responsibility of their actions and if ever they did take the responsibility and married them, they still went off and cheated. I’m not name- dropping here because I could be sued for that but you know who you are. Poor ladies, I just hope I won’t end up like them and commit the same mistakes they did. It’s not like it’s their fault that they trusted those men. They just got swayed by their sweet talks and lies. Those kinds of men are good for nothing. OFF WITH THEIR BALLS!

Where have all the good men gone?? I guess it’s just the signs of the times. I may act and write like I know a lot of things but I don’t. I’m just a kid, naïve and all. There are a lot of things that I need to learn so please don’t think that I think I’m so good and a know-it-all because I’m not. I’m just writing to share my thoughts and as a way to vent out because it’s getting heavy with all these things flooding my mind.

It’s frustrating me that life is so full of complications. We humans are so messed up and so damaged giving in to our carnal longings. The unspoken pain just goes on and on. But the show must go on. We must move on and ask for guidance from the MAN above to guard our hearts because there’s nothing more deceiving than the heart. We are our own enemies; we are our own worst nightmares. Hopefully, we’ll make the most out of life and making the right choices because our futures defines are actions now. 


We are the sum of our choices. Let’s make right choices, shall we??

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